Pictorial Rejoinder to Boice

Final Portfolio Revisions: BDS 7-26-13

Becoming mindful of the body. Find the breath. Anchor my feet to the ground. Separate my jaw. Move my tongue to the bottom of my mouth. Focus eyes on something distant, then close. Stretch fingers and wrists.

Begin.

Planning Writing: I have the final-ish draft of my portfolio done and I shall use this time to revise/edit for submission. I wanted to do it last night, but I realized I had been near-binging and wanted to practice stopping before I was ready. Today I will pick it up in the state it was in and continue the progress towards completion.

Work.

As I finished up the revision/editing of my final, I created a page on the Wiki so people could easily upload their final portfolios. I wrote out instructions to hopefully avoid similar confusion from the first submission. I re-posted the one final portfolio that had already been submitted to the original portfolios page.

Comfort Check: Refocused eyes. Moved feet and legs out from underneath my desk. Stretched back fingers and hands. Sipped coffee.

Return to work.

More of the same: tidying up my portfolio. Checking links on the wiki. Making cutsey comments to my classmates thanking them for a great class. Placing a bow on the work I've done thus far in the semester.

Online Curriculum Development: BDS 7-25-13

I worked on the online curriculum project for about four hours today after class. Even though I had a bunch of stuff to do (on a deadline because of a meeting with the ET@MO developer), I still tried to approach it with a sense of mindfulness. How do you navigate those situations where you are tip-toeing a fine line towards binging? I chunked it out and made sure I took care of my physical and mental comfort. Here's (sort of what I did)

1. After class: went to office. Met partner. Chatted. Wrote a bit on the syllabus. I stopped 10 minutes before we needed to leave for the meeting so I could check in to my body and maintain comfort.

2. After the (hour long) meeting, we walked back to the car together. Even though we were talking about what happened at the meeting, I tried to stay with my breath and concentrate at the same time.

3. Went home. Ate dinner. Chillaxed.

4. Started creating content once again. This was the most traditional writing time of the day, and I made sure to stay mindful of as many of the mindfulness practices as possible, including: comfort checks (every 20 mins), mindful of posture, longer breaks on the hours, time spent making notes to myself in the margins of my curriculum plan.

Mindful Reading: Boice Final Reflection

I took a lot from the Boice readings throughout the course. His descriptions of maintaining your daily writing practices through control and measuring emotions are instrumental to the program. I’ll admit that I wasn’t as interested when Boice got into his Psychologist-motivated explanations. It’s impossible to maintain a steady diet of writing if your mindset is in a murky place. At the same time, I took from Boice that it’s impossible to keep up a steadily HIGH level of mental state. Boice addressed both ends of the emotional scale (depression and hypomania) and I appreciate the fact that he did so. I can think of times in my experience where I’ve felt both. So, despite the fact that I wasn’t as interested, I know that these portions of his program are important.

In reflecting on this point, I can see that I’m still extremely interested in the ‘starting’ portions of the program. In that, I wonder if I’m ignoring one of Boice’s rules: to start before I’m ready. I want to start. I know that I won’t be able to develop my process in a Boice-ian way if I don’t actually take the time to devote to writing. As I move forward, I think I’ll continue to push myself to DO SOMETHING every day. It’s manageable. I’m slowly gaining confidence that I can do it. And I feel like I’m prepared to maintain a program like this. 

Overall, I appreciate Boice's rules and his program as a whole. While I think, in the long run, I'm going to incorporate some of his suggestions into my writing program, I still have a solid base with which to begin my professional writing career. The rules on mindfulness, pace, when to begin, and how to keep going will sustain me, even in those darkest hours of self-doubt. 

Thanks Bob. 

Comprehensive Exams: BDS 7-24-13

Planning Writing: Today I will do some work at re-gathering sources that will be important for the first push of my next phase of the comps. I am going to stick with the 'TNS' portion of my list, so I'm going to immerse myself in those conversations so as to have a strong grasp about how my work will contribute to the TN conversation as well as the RC conversation.

Comfort Check: Stretched. Flexed muscles. straightened legs and feet. Separated teeth. Lowered tongue. Re-focused on the task at hand after terrible paper-ripping distraction.

Comfort Check 2: Paused, checked for comfort. Stretched. Un curled legs. Focused eyes out the window at a near and distant focal point.

I worked during this time to begin to make connections between Latour's ANT and the methods that TN scholars employ (particularly Dingo's network methodology as she traces TN concepts across times.

Mindful Reading: Boice pp144-153

Three Main Causes of Depression in Activities Like Writing:

1. Self-Downing: The key phrases Boice cites (from Ellis) are the shoulds, oughts, and musts. These can be counter-productive, I think, because they create unrealistic expectations in writers as the perceive others' views of them. I think this holds true, mostly because of the negativity spiral that can ensue. If I (or you or one) has unattainable expectations for himself, and constantly is comparing his work against those expectations, it is very easy to fall into the prolonged feelings of self-doubt and negativity. Not that those feelings will vanish if we avoid taking stock of others' expectations, but if we find a way to be more comfortable with our own production, a way to write for OURSELVES instead of something/someone else, I think it'd be easier to avoid those pitfalls.

2. Low Frustration Tolerance (LFT): This cause seems to be somewhat at odds with what Boice has been working towards throughout his book. LFT stems from the feeling that writing should be FUN, that writing doesn't have to be uncomfortable, and that any discomfort derails even the most fluent writing process. Perhaps Boice isn't actually saying that writing must be fun. Instead, he might be saying that even when it's discomfortable, that doesn't have to be the end of it. BDSs only last a short time. The longer we keep our routine, the more regular it becomes. This might be just enough twinkle to work through a LFT.

3. Hostility: And when the frustration rises, hostility becomes the necessary reaction. Or, if not the necessary reaction, at least an easy and common one. I think this might come from the belief that writing is a solitary activity, and not being able to see ones own writing in terms of a community. Hostility comes from feelings of hopelessness, anger, and negativity, all of which can be exacerbated by low frustration tolerance.

Online Curriculum Development: BDS 7-23-13

Today I spent an hour writing the syllabus for my online course this spring. It was an interesting writing moment because I was using Google Docs so I could collaborate with my co-developer. We started our session by planning and brainstorming and then we went about our task individually.

I was mindful of my posture and the positioning of my tongue throughout. Before I started I took a moment to gather my breath and come back into the body.

Comfort break about 30 mins in. Walked about the room. Grabbed a pop (because of thirst) and a veggie boat.

30 more minutes. Finished my sections. Waiting for co-developer to respond.

Success!

Mindful Reading: Boice pp 138-144

Boice's explanation about why depression/hypo-mania can lead to writing problems was quite interesting. I found what he said helpful and elucidating as to why these can be real problems.

I'm more interested, however, in his discussion about the brain scans of people who suffer from these maladies. On 142 Boice talks about how the brain scans of shy people show their 'right frontal brains are dominant [and] tend to be temperamentally shy, wary, and reticent."

This is not the first time Boice has cited brain scan literature (and Donna does this quite a bit as well). I must admit, I'm always a bit skeptical about the conclusions researchers derive from this type of evidence. To me it sounds a little bit too much like the type of Eugenics and Phrenology research that was so prominent in the 19th and 20th centuries, that we look back on now and scoff at the way 'science' was so instrumental in the rationalization of slavery, hatred, and discrimination.

Not to say that's what's happening here, but I'm really finding myself skeptical of this type of research. The brain scans are cool looking, but I question what a pink section of the brain tells us about a person, and what a blue section of the brain tells us.

Thoughts on brain science?

Online Curriculum Development: BDS 7-22-13

Planning: Continue working on Unit 3. Make as much progress as time allows. Make notes as to where I am when time runs out. Continue there during my next BDS later today, 

Comfort Check: My jaw was clenched (blegh) and my legs were curled back under me putting unnecessary pressure on my right knee and ankle. 

Negative Energy from class discussion has carried over. I want to apologize, and I'm planning it for the end of class, but it's taking away the focus during this BDS. Get it back Max. 

More negative energy during this comfort break. I'm having serious doubts about the project as a whole. Not that it shouldn't/won't get done, but of the efficacy, pedagogical soundness, and student-centered-ness of the whole thing. Attempting to return to comfort and fluency in 3...2...1....

Notes for whence to begin again: FIgure out Journal numbering. Decide on Beatles sources. Find library exercise. Stay calm. 

Mindful Reading: Boice pp 129-138

Maintenance Problems: When I think about the end of this week and the parting of ways that always accompanies the end of the term, I start thinking about what it'll be like to strike out on my own, to be in control of my own writing-destiny, and to walk high on the wire without a net. I think of all the support and routine I've had and built over the past three weeks, and I wonder what it will be like when I'm forced to rejoin the 'real world'. Four weeks has taught me a lot, but I'm nervous. Imagine what Boice's writers were thinking after 9 months of support and community, only to be similarly forced out on their own: no wonder there're relapses.

Durability is the key here. To avoid the peaks and valleys that scuttle most regular-writing programs. It's not just an issue of avoiding the lows (brought on by depression), but also managing the highs as well (hypomania, binging, not stopping, etc). Holding one's self back is a very strange concept to me, and I suppose I've had trouble with it in the past. Some of my blocks create the necessity to binge, and while it's happening it feels okay, and then the project's done, so what's not to like. Well, it's hard to be a person, as we've talked about. But that's also a sure-fire way to not return to the writing and to really dread doing it in the first place.

A measured, steady pace of writing must be striven for. Boice's suggestions are helpful, too, for trying to get me to that place.

Comprehensive Exams: BDS 7-19-13

Pre-writing: Making connections between lists of texts by looking at others' lists and finding the overlaps in my list and then seeing which of my works could support/augment/supplement/etc those works to bring a transnational reading to RhetComp:

I noticed the lists online are mostly from European universities. I wonder what this says about the state of academics in America?

Comfort Check: Accidentally did the Macarena (while stretching my arms and back).

Finding many connections between food and transnationalism, but that's not exactly what I'm after. I wonder why more scholars are not interested in the way these two streams run together?

Next session I shall be more conscious of connecting the works I see on the web with my own and interjecting my own opinions/thoughts/ideas/ reactions therein.

Mindful Reading: Boice pp 100-107

Turning Boice into Practice:

Further along in the Fluency chapter, Boice provides some suggestions for putting his advice into practice. I feel like he's starting to push us a little bit more in this chapter, and asks that we do the same with ourselves. I feel like his tone is less compassionate in this chapter, but not in an offputting way. I actually appreciate the way he is pushing us to put all of the various advice, rules, practices into our own routines.

As for me, I am going to focus my own efforts on 4. Establish moderately undisrupting conditions at your writing site (106-7). For his suggestions, Boice suggests that we take precautions for productive conditions. Here are some that I am going to use:

• Arrange a regular work site where you do writing and little else: I can definitely do that. I have a desk in an office, but that darn thing is so covered in piles of newspapers and old student folders, I haven't seen the top of it in weeks. But I'll do the Boice, and start digging so I can have a space of my own for writing. 
• Keep interruptions at a minimum: This will be trickier. I am around amazing people (one in particular) a lot of the time when I'm trying to work. However, I was really moved by Boice when he said that "other people will look for clear, unambiguous signals from you about how important your writing is to you." YES! Part of the reason she's amazing, is because she's really smart and recognizes my signals ONLY when they're unambiguous. I think I can make this work.
• All non-life-threatening emergencies can wait until the BDS has been completed: Okay, yes. But this seems to sort of push against the other rules Boice has meticulously laid out. If we claim to moderately prioritize writing, then I would say there are many things that would warrant a break in the BDS. But oh well, hopefully nothing comes up that even makes me choose.

These suggestions are all geared to increase FOCUS. Something I think I could really benefit from. 

Focus -----> Fluency ----> Confidence------> Productivity

Mindful Reading: Boice pp 83-90

Spending time one the Block:

This section is important to me (I actually think I've said that about all the sections thus far) because I've been questioning (in my mind) the disconnect between the prewriting stage and the writing stage. The way Boice described it, prewriting was a natural predecessor to the writing-writing, but I've been having trouble seeing how the two are connected. In a word, I'm blocked. I like the predictability in Boice, and I like how he approaches this topic and this chapter with the same measured approach he brings to the rest of his program. 

Donna asked us to take the BQ, but I'm not sure what she meant. I did a little bit of monologue-ing in my mind in response to some of the prompts. To spare the details, I had the most to say about 1. Aversion, 2. Procrastination, and 6. Perfectionism, so I certainly think this chapter will be interesting and enlightening for me. 

The section in this reading that stood out to me came on pg87 in the part where Boice is describing some of the most common sources of writing blocking. He gets out on a bit of a tangent and starts talking about how teachers of writing themselves are responsible for the blocking of writers. Without saying as much, Boice implies that teachers (yes, that's all teachers. Unhedged, unqualified), if they could just be more aware of their own writing and teaching practice, writers would be much better off. At first I wanted to get mad at Boice, but then I realized that his points were right on (to varying degrees) especially when he said that teachers could use better 'habits of planning and studying their own performance in ways that encourage mindfulness and improvement" (87). 

Some might call this assessment, but I would rather call it a mindful pedagogical approach that depends on careful reflection and the comfort to be willing to alter practices without judgment. 

****Listening Note****

I met one of my neighbors by the pool today. His name is Jeff and he DJs a radio show on KOPN (89.5 in Columbia). It's a community radio station and his show just happens to be on RIGHT NOW. UnCommon Light has been good so far. If you're interested, it's Monday night from 11pm to 2am and features the best in progressive, ambient, tribal, downtempo, and trance music from the past present and future. 

Here's the webpage for UnCommon Light: http://www.kopn.org/progdesc1&u=/pp/jeff-wi.php

Here's the page to stream KOPN: http://www.kopn.org/listen

Support Community Radio!

Online Curriculum Development: BDS 7-15-13

Mindfulness Practices: Being aware of the body. Feeling myself sitting. Taking stock of the sensations in my writing body parts. Brief focusing on my breathing. 

Short Planning: Begin working on Unit 3. Begin writing overviews. Be as descriptive and helpful as possible. Anticipate the obstacles/problems/confusions/dis-clarities that could arise in my students in this unit. 

15 mins:

Comfort Check: HUGE back crack. Where did that tension come from (after all the chair yoga at the beginning)? Rolled wrists. Un-focused eyes. Straightened back. Separated teeth. Tongue to lower-dental palate. 

10 mins:

Not much progress, but I think I got some good pre-writing-type stuff done. Made some connections between the different weeks that I probably wouldn't have been able to before. 

Mindful Reading: Boice pp 72-80

Okay Boice, so prove it:

I'd like to reflect a bit on Boice's use of evidence in this section, not because the strategies for finding balance in pre-writing aren't important, but because I feel I've been commenting on the same set of strategies in all of my blog posts. This repetition is not a deficiency, though. I see it, instead, as a well-planned, well-organized system that demands attention to only a few specific ways of doing. If writers can bring a practice of daily writing, in a comfortable, thoughtful, imaginative, mindful way, all elements of their writing process can be improved. That to me is a wonderfully comforting thought.

At this point in the book (and apparently in his sessions), readers are beginning to demand proof that what he is saying is true. To acknowledge this, Boice presents both quantitative and qualitative evidence that what he is saying about prewriting holds water. Boice's numerical, quantitative, statistical evidence is fine, whatever. I have serious reservations about statistics as a whole (it's a wonder how much stock people will put into a 'fact' if it is accompanied by a number. My skin crawls when people (mostly students) refer to the 'objectivity' of statistics. There is nothing impartial or objective about statistics, anymore than the people who create the systems and rules from which numbers are produced. Statistics are simply another representation of reality, and in my humble opinion, a piss-poor one that smooths over the rich and beautiful complexity of society, humanity, and nature. Alright, down from my soap box I come), but Boice compliments those 'hard' numbers with the qualitative narrative that gives examples of his points. Together, the numbers and the narratives, provided sufficient evidence for me to think that Boice might be on the up and up.

There was one specific point that stuck out to me in the reading for today. Boice once again returns to the idea that we must write ourselves into our prewriting activities (WIRMI note-taking, marginal comments responding to texts, etc). This is certainly something I am going to do in my BDS prewriting activities. Not only will it help me gain a truer understanding of my subject matter, but it will also do a great job preparing me for the actual writing (which I'm sure Boice will get to evenutally :)

********Listening Noes*******

On account of a wonderful little bundle of joy that came into the world yesterday, I am getting a bit sentimental. For your listening pleasure, John Lennon's "Beautiful Boy":

Mindful Writing: Boice pp 64-72

I thoroughly agree with Boice on may of his points. Most of all when he describes his writers' aversions to outlining. There're many reasons why I've been averse to putting much down in a pre-writing draft, mostly because I felt stifled and constrained when I had a definite plan of what was going to be said and how. I really came around on this idea when on page 71, Boice talks about the fluidity and flexibility of the outline. Instead of this being THE PLAN, Boice places it in the context of pre-writing. This made much more sense to me and I can really see how this would inspire a greater sense of imagination, planning, rewriting, and thoughtfulness in the overall writing process.

Boice's example of his outline seemed like an outline that had been worked on a few times. However, his illustration still shows how outlining can encourage elaboration, thus making the process of 'writing' more enjoyable, productive, and stimulating.

One thing I learned during our BDS yesterday (or was it the day before) was that I often have much more to say about something than I think I do. With a regular practice of connecting, organizing, cataloging, and rearranging, I think I would have even more to say about how my ideas work into others' ideas. The other day, I set out to get a general outline of a book review I'm working on. And while I thought I was too early in the process to really have much to say about the review, I ended up filling an entire page with a (very loosely structured) outline. Boice's advice seems to all be working for me, and it makes me wonder if he's a genius, or if he's just really really really good at naming the unnamable. More on that in a later post.

***Author's Note***

During this blog-writing session I found that I was carrying a lot of tension in my face/jaw/mouth. I made a conscious effort to be mindful of my tongue position in my mouth. And while I found myself thinking about it a lot, repositioning my tongue actually allowed me to stay more connected to my writing. Yay for Mindfulness!

Mindful Reading: Boice pp 59-64

I'm going to play into Boice's hand here, by expressing the same reservations about his 'Shaping Ideas into Imagination' section as his writers did. It might just be that I'm a little tired today, which makes me more skeptical and confrontational, but I shared in these two points:

1. How am I ever going to get any work done if I keep setting aside more time for Brief Daily Sessions?
2. Public scrutiny is NOT what I need right now in my process. 

As always, Boice has plenty of advice for those of us with these reservations. But what I think makes his program so workable, is that he addresses these reservations simply by going back to the advice he's been giving all along. This can be frustrating at first (I've been in class where the students were vitriolically opposed to Boice and found this to be more of an annoyance than anything. My perception was that these students weren't going to try anything aside of what had worked for them in the past, and if they had lowered their walls just a bit they could have appreciated Boice's program and maybe it could have helped them. But I digress), because it might seem like he's just repeating himself. However, there's some comfort in knowing that these practical suggestions can be augmented by simply remembering a few of Boice's key strategies: Wait, BDS, Community, Start. 

Anyway. Boice addresses these reservations with comments his writers have made. The examples he brings up of people skeptical of an additional BDS mostly show that as writing becomes more regular and fluent, it takes less time to do some of the 'warm up' activities that bog down many-a writing session. Instead of warming up for those 10-15 mins, with regular practice you're able to spend those on more imagination-supporting activities. I can see how this is true, but I still wonder how many hours are in a normal Boice-day. 

I am less resistant to the 'make your imagination phase public' advice. Advice I've gotten from a number of people of the years has to do with creating a community around yourself that you can interact with at all stages of the process. Reading groups, writing groups, coauthored pieces, etc. All of these things, I think, are useful for bringing those imagination exercises to the front, bouncing ideas off of others' ideas and seeing what makes sense together and what new realms you can enter by creating an open dialogue of imagination. 

***Listening Notes****

Yesterday I found out that my favorite radio station from back home streams live on the net. 89.3 The Current is a Minnesota Public Radio station that is unlike any of the popular radio choices out there now. They specialize in more Indy, Rock, College-type music. And the best part: No Commercials!

You can check out their live stream here: http://www.thecurrent.org/listen

Application for Funding for Food Studies Conference: BDS (in-class) 7-10-13

Brief report on today's In-Class BDS:

I had an agenda for finishing the work that I started last time during our in-class BDS. I didn't have much left to do, but I had also stopped in the middle of a sentence from last time, so it was easy to pick up this time. 

At the beginning I tried to be very mindful of my body and how I was sitting in my desk. However, when Donna stopped us for a comfort check, I realized that I had sacrificed a lot of the comfort I started out with because I lost track of my mindfulness. When we stopped for our comfort check, here's what I noticed:

• My jaw was clenched and I was holding my tongue low in my mouth
• I had pulled my legs back behind me under my desk placing additional stress on my knees, ankles, and feet.
• My back was slightly hunched but in a comfortable position
• My eyes were good
• My wrists, hands, and fingers felt good (it was only a brief BDS (monotonous much))

When we began the last part of the BDS, I did my best to acknowledge and reposition the problem areas of my body. I was mindful to the end of the session, then, of the discomfort that had arisen and I was able to mitigate those problems. 

Best of all, I sent off my application!

Mindful Reading: Boice pp 50-59

On Note Taking (aka: compiling, organizing, taxonomizing, labeling, etc): 

Just when I thought Boice couldn't be any more relevant to me, he seems to be providing strategies for precisely the section of my writing that I am in most need of guidance. Here's why I appreciate Boice the most at this part of his text: He provides wide-reaching strategies for handling the secondary-sources that are so important for an academic style of writing. At times it seems like the writing that is expected of me is only the secondary aspect of what I'm to be doing. \

I heard it described once (and I'll paraphrase) that the writing should be the by-product of a broader exploration of an idea, topic, or phenomenon. The writing and the publication should are only means for recording the outcome of a researcher's new understanding of a topic. I definitely want to keep this in mind as I continue my Comps process. There're times when I pile up all my books on the table and work through them one by one. This is a no-no in Boice, and it certainly doesn't feel like the process of accumulation is the most important thing when I go about it this way. 

With deadlines looming, it's hard to keep this ideal situation in mind, but I think it goes nicely with the rules in Boice that I will try my best to implement as I go forward in my research process. Especially: 

• Make Conversing with Others in my Field a Priority: I was surprised that this was Boice's first step, but I'm starting to see how all of his rules are working together. Even though there are people very close to me studying in a similar area, when I do get around to reading and writing, I have the tendency to cut myself off from the conversations surrounding me. 
• Read to Write: Instead of simply reading through a text, checking it off the list, and then plowing forward, Boice wants me to have the broader goal of reading for a specific purpose. This makes sense, and I already do it to an extent. But I think there's something more when this is a primary goal.
• Limit Reading Time and Limit Note-Taking Space: This is great advice for me because I usually devote myself fully to interacting with a text (often to my detriment). I'll sit down with a pile of books to get through in a session and I'll find myself only getting through ONE book. Granted I'd walk away with eight pages of notes from that one book, but I'd be exhausted and discouraged because of the effort that went into doing 1/100 of the work that I need to. One page of notes per text is going to be a new-norm for me, as will the 1-3 hour rule (that I will keep flexible) per book.
• Alternate Reading and Writing: This is great advice on many levels. One, it's fresh when you've recently read it. Two, it helps decrease the monotony. Three, it allows you to be productive towards your end goal even when you're immersed in the note-taking stage. 

Which of Boice's suggestions for increasing imagination through note-taking will you incorporate into your own writing process? I'm curious to hear!

Mindful Reading: Boice pp 43-50

Imagination: I was expecting a chapter on unicorns and Knights of the Eyre and flying cars and daydreams where I am the dashing young detective chasing down the kidnapper and saying something dramatic like "And that's how we do justice.... On the streets."

Luckily, Boice has a different perspective on imagination and what it is good for and how it can be used to journey to comfort and fluency. I'll echo one of the comments one of Boice's writers made and say that imagination (especially this 'filing' form of imagination) is important for dissertation writers, but I can definitely see how this might apply to all writers bar-none.

The list on page 45 where Boice describes the HOW of finding imagination was particularly interesting to me. The way he describes the marination between two different things (ideas, texts, artifacts, theories, etc) really struck home with me because I often find myself saying this to my students. I don't want them to completely re-write the book when they're writing, but I do want them to be aware that the simple fact of putting their own perspective on two texts makes it a new idea. This seems like an important fact for me to keep in mind as well. This is exemplified by Boice in #4 in his list on 45, "Integrating new and old materials into files can be aided by playfully casting ideas into types". This play is integral for finding the new (no matter how mundane) in the topic you're collecting materials for.

The other list Boice brings up, the list of methods for bolstering the imaginative impulse, is interesting and a necessary addition for the skeptical reader like me. I was especially interested in this section because that is often one of the blocks that disrupts my regular progress in writing. Finding and reading materials is one thing (sort of an easy thing in this day and age of immediate information accessibility), but the steps between finding and writing about them have always been a little blurry to me. I appreciate this list because Boice gives some practical and concrete suggestions, as well as some more theoretic and abstract. Both of which are very important for me at this point in my process and I plan on coming back to this section again.

***Listening Notes****

Today I was in need of some outside stimuli as I read, but I didn't want anything too lyrical or new. I went back to one of my favorite instrumental bands, Bela Fleck and the Flecktones, which features one of the greatest banjo players of all times. If you ever just want some really really good (and quirky) instrumental music, or if you ever want to see someone push the limits of the banjo, check out this band.

Floating Mindfully

After class yesterday I was extremely hot. Not in any metaphoric sense of the word: My body temperature was off the charts and I was burning up.

Luckily there is a pool in my apartment complex. Unlike many other outdoor, communal pools I've experienced in my day, this one is extremely nice, cool, clean, and underused. I know it takes a lot to keep up a pool to those standards, and everytime I talk with the maintenance guys in my complex, they tell me that much. You'd never believe the time, energy, chemicals, water, and money that it takes.

To bring my body temp back into a manageable level, I decided to float in the deep end for a while. And because I was still inspired after our meditation period in class yesterday, I decided to focus on my breathing while I floated. I didn't really have any expectations ( I wasn't trying to achieve a Nirvanic state, I wasn't trying to take a nap), I just wanted to bring a formal mindfulness practice into another sector of my life.

Overall it was nice, although there're a lot more distractions when you're focusing in a public space instead of a space that is being shared by like-mindedly mindful people. The old lady and her grandkids were loud and jarring. The wind kept blowing my raft into the diving board. The sun was beating down harshly on my face.

But because I didn't have any expectations, I found it rather comforting that, despite the distractions, I had something I could ground myself with. I used the method of saying (kindly) to myself in my mind, "Thinking" when I would lose focus. This worked, but I found myself saying it an awful lot. But, true to my intention, I did so without judgment and carried on with my breathing.

My conclusion is that I REALLY appreciate the shared space we meditate in everyday. To really be able to focus inwardly, it's important to be safe and comfortable in the space you're occupying in the outside world. I feel that when we meditate in our classroom together, that it is a safe space and I am free to really concentrate on the breath and work to mitigate the stimuli from without.

Thanks :)

Mindful Reading: Boice pp 30-38

In this section, Boice was at his most practical. He provides many concrete practices for his readers to follow in order to get in the regular practice of daily writing.

To me, Boice really has one goal in mind: to establish a sense of confidence in his writers. At first I was a bit skeptical (like many of the people he cites in the book) about the effectivness of the rules and interventions he lays out. I wondered to myself, what are all these steps aimed at building confidence doing for writers at all levels? But then it dawned on me, people who are taking the time to read this book (or take A Mindful Writing seminar during the summer session) are probably already good writers or they have the mind, eye, and ear to become one. Whether it be a college student, an aspiring creative writer, or a grad student caught in the doldrums of comprehensive exams, these people have been writing a long time and have read a sufficient amount to understand what it takes to be a good writer.

Therein lies the importance of confidence. What stands in the way of these writers from realizing their potential, and I think Boice would agree, is the understanding that you ARE a writer (and probably a good one), and that with these mindful, regular, mildly-happy practices, you can see the fruits of your labor coming out. Regular productivity provides the concrete proof of you as a writer, and therefore can only lead to increased motivation to write.

The rules and practices in this section, along with the ones from the previous sections, all lead me to think that Boice is trying to get his writers to see for themselves that they have something to say.

Mindfulness ----------> Confidence -----------> Motivation -----------> Production

It can be done. We just need to feel like it can.

Online Curriculum Development: BDS, 7-6-2013

I only have about 15 minutes to write today, and usually I would just write this off as a lost cause and do something else. However, I'm trying real hard to get in the habit of daily writing, so I'm going to fight my better instincts and do a little somethin somethin,.

One of the mindfulness practices will be really helpful here: having a clear, attainable goal. I left one thing simmering from my session last night, and I'm going to use this time to finalize the section I started last night. All that's left is to create a Peer Review guide for the second formal paper of my online class. Peer Review is an important element of my pedagogy, and keeping it central in my online class is absolutely a priority. It's challenging, but important. 

Okay, here we go. 15 minutes. One peer review guide. Case closed. 

RESULTS:

Okay, so that was more like 35 mins. My focused went away from my work a couple of times, but I was able to bring it back quickly and keep working. I didn't take a comfort break because I was surprised by the fact that it took me longer than I thought it would. If I had planned for 35 minutes, I certainly would have stopped for a break. Now I find that my back hurts a little bit and my eyes are harder to focus. Hunched and staring is no way to be. Also, I think this took longer than expected because I didn't account for the extra steps that were required to actually publish the Peer Review sheet that I wrote. I had to log onto BB. I had to create this, edit that, rearrange the other thing, etc, etc, etc. It might have been a better estimate of my work time if I had SIMPLY completed the PR sheet and then posted it later or tomorrow. Oh well, I guess it takes practice to make and achieve goals for a BDS. Something more to work on I guess. 

Online Curriculum Development: BDS, 7-5-13

For today's BDS, I plan to continue working through the 'overview' portions of online curriculum I'm developing. I think this is a good task for my BDSs, because it takes a lot of critical thinking. However, it's not reinventing the wheel or anything like that. I've already put a lot of thought and planning into these weeks, so I definitely have a guide to go by. I'm finding myself having more fun with this type of writing, something I'll have to keep in mind in the future: if I started previously, it's easier to stay positive about the work I'm doing.

15 minutes in, I took a comfort check. I reminded myself to keep my tounge down to relive the pressure in my face. I also had to move my legs (which were propped up on the table) because one was starting to go to sleep. My laptop is warm, and my lap is warm because of it. I'm going to stand up and do some comfort walking to make the most of this break while I think about what comes next.

Got some good writing done. I wrote for about an hour. Took the one comfort check. And made mental notes of any times I felt discomfort (some in my fingers, my leg./foot started hurting again because of how I had them on the coffee table, eyes strained a bit but not bad, thirsty, ready for music, bed will be nice).

I was especially mindful of my breathing during this BDS (thanks to the UCLA breathing meditation I did earlier). It was interesting being so focused on my breathing, while still trying to use my brain to compose. It was a tricky tug of war, but I kind of like the idea of being open to a variety of senses while still having an anchor point to the here and now.

More tomorrow.

UCLA MARC Guided Breathing Meditation

It was nice to try one of these formal mindfulness practices on my own. A few reflections on the process:

• I liked having the freedom and space to do this breathing meditation on my own. I didn't miss my hard plastic chair from the classroom, and I found it was a bit easier to embrace the process knowing my body was more comfortable. 
• Another thing that was nice about doing this at home, is that most of my meditation was done with a kitty cat in my lap. Everything is easier/better with a cat in your lap. 
• While my physical space was more known to me during this meditation, I still felt a little bit out of sorts since all of my other meditation practices have come in the shared space of the classroom. The times my mind wondered were usually brought on my thinking about something in/around/about the classroom. 
• Another thing that made this a bit more difficult for me was the woman's voice. There wasn't anything particularly wrong with her voice, but I guess I have just grown accustomed to Donna's voice and it was a bit distracting to have a different person speaking. 
• I think the actual digital recording and playback of her voice made it more distracting as well. I wouldn't call myself an audiophile, but I can definitely tell when sub-par production techniques have been used. The combination of the recording, the internet playback, and the low-quality of my computer speakers made listening to her voice much less-pleasing. I guess this is why people still seek out vinyl records instead of buying into the digital music revolution. There's just something nice about a rich, full, top-and-bottom recording being played for you through a powerful tuner and quality speakers. 
• The length of this recording left me wanting more. I will never complain in class again about taking too much time for our meditation. By the time the chime went off on the recording, I was just getting into a comfortable rhythm. 

It's nice to have these resources, and I'm sure I'll be back to UCLA Mindful Awareness Research Center. If you're curious, you can check it out here:

http://marc.ucla.edu/body.cfm?id=22

How'd it go for you?

Mindful Reading: Boice pp 20-30

As I began reading this section from Boice, I started having some reservations (similar to the ones that Boice acknowledges early in this section): "Okay, I get it, writing is hard and there are a lot of things, psychological and otherwise, that make writing harder. But so what? What am I supposed to do about it? Don't tell me what I already know. You've  pathologized me, you've cut away all the barriers so what's left is my true core, and you've left me laying here on this table awaiting your expert opinion. 

Dramaticism aside, when Boice does turn to the 'solutions' to these problems, he does so in a calm, measured, insightful way. Part of me wanted him to put everything out in the open in an easy to digest chart, but I think that sort of categorizing would fly in the face of what he's trying to do here. 

The two main 'Rules' he brings up in his Formal Treatments section, Wait and Relax, are misleading in their seeming simplicity. But what I love about this section in the reading is that Boice provides many concrete strategies for how to comply with these rules in productive ways. 

The most interesting strategy Boice gives us has to do with his rationale for Rule #1. On page 23 he is acknowledging the necessity (and the difficulty) for writers to actively wait before writing. He describes that one of the surefire means for achieving motivation can both be honed in this waiting period. To Boice, involvement and patience lead to motivation. The involvement part of this makes sense to me. The more one thinks, reads, talks, invests, explores, examines, embraces their topic/task/assignment, the more they might feel like they haves something to contribute to that conversation. The patience part (although now it seems like a straightforward and helpful suggestion) is the one that I struggle with, and the one that Boice's writers also struggled with. 

Patience is a hard attribute to display when deadlines are looming and word-counts stagnate. But if we take Boice's advice, and we see our writing as a long-term project, one that cannot be completed in one sitting (or any less than daily sittings), the patience virtue takes on more meaning and seems to carry more relevance. I'll close this post with my thoughts on patience as described by Boice:

• Patience is possible only when brief daily sessions are a habit of mind
• Patience leads to confidence that we are smart, able, and willing to continue sustained work over long periods of time
• Patience leads to comfort which leads to a greater likelihood of sustain writing over days
• Patience allows more thoughtfulness and focus, which can only lead to better writing. 
• Patience can slow the process at any given time. But if we allow ourselves the daily time and space to write with patience, the benefits will outweigh the negatives. 

Mindful Reading: Boice pp 14-19

This section of Boice clarified some of the questions I had about the 'brief daily session' approach to writing. As he talks about 're-framing the problem' he gives some concrete suggestions on how to shift from the passive waiting phase in to the more productive 'active waiting' phase. This made a lot of sense for me because I was having trouble thinking about how to actually get to a place where I'm comfortable writing in short, daily chunks.

The metaphor of 'joining the conversation' is really important for 'active waiting.' Boice describes how much there is to do before you even put pen to page: talking with other writers, reading other works, thinking about what types of problems are relevant (and the subsequent problem solving skills required to handle them), etc, etc etc. If you can see the conversation from the outside, before you fully immerse yourself in it, I think it's easier to see the parameters that will help guide you through your own writing process. If you are fortunate enough to be able (and willing) to see the writing you're about to do as one small part of this broader conversation, I feel like it makes the process of 'starting' that much easier.

The real takeaway for me from these pages was the simple statement Boice makes on page 19. His fourth point in his list of topics that come up in his session really gave me some perspective. He states that "motivation and inspiration follow, not precede, the practice of regular accumulated work... We err in waiting for motivation that impels us to write." Sitting naked in a room waiting for the great-pumpkin of writing motivation to visit us, we could be sitting there (uncomfortably) for a long time. It's not hard to set aside 15 minutes to do some kind of writing. And with most things (meditation, throwing a curveball, driving, Tiger Woods Golf '13 for PS3), the more often you do it, the easier it becomes. Motivation then arises, I assume, because you have proof that you're doing good work, that you're a capable writer, and that you have something to contribute to the conversation.

Online Curriculum Development: BDS, 7-2-13

I have a development meeting tomorrow (fancy way of saying going over to my friend M's house, chatting about the online course, and laughing for a while), so I decided to work on my online course development for my Brief Daily Session today. 

For each of our units, we have overview documents that explain what our activities, goals, and expectations are for that unit of work. We already have most of the content organized and shared, but there are many of these overview documents left to create. 

These are interesting yet difficult to write up. There's a lot of information we need to convey to students, and how to do that in a purely textual environment is a completely different experience for me. I found myself constantly deciding what would be important for students to know, and what we could expect them to learn/figure out for themselves. It's fun to keep my pedagogy hat on, but it also takes time because there's so much to think about. 

Luckily these aren't long, and I got through about 5 overview statements in the 60 minute BDS I did tonight. 

I think the fact that I have a meeting tomorrow (albeit with my friend) has contributed a little bit of stress to the process. We have very different methods for getting things done, as well as a very different methods for interpersonal communication. I'm sure it will be fine, but when my mind trailed off of the task, it was usually because I was thinking about the meeting. 

I also have the MN Twins game playing on the radio in my ear buds. There's probably something there as to why I'm distracted, but oh well. There're some sacrifices I'm not willing to make (even though they're bums).

 

Mindful Reading: Boice pp 1-5

When Professor Strickland asked us to carry our mindful practices into our reading, I was a bit apprehensive at first. I thought it would be limiting and constricting to only take up five pages at a time of a reading. If there's anything I've learned in my time in school, it's that there is always something else that you could read (and profs. usually seem to assign limitless amounts of reading). But as I read the first pages of Boice, I found it to be comforting to know I was only responsible for a few pages. It allowed me to take it really slow, to consider what he was saying, and (most importantly) to weigh his ideas against my own experiences.

To illustrate his catalog of obstacles to regular, mindful writing, Boice may just as well have been watching me try and write over the past year. I was able to relate to almost all of his examples of counter-productive writing: passivity, binging, elation (followed by depression), and not approaching writing as a social act. I, like the people he quotes in this chapter, was able to produce some material in this time. But I certainly didn't set myself up to be able to sustain any type of writing program (which is something I am excited to practice in this class).

For me, I think there are two main ways I will be able to journey to comfort and fluency. The first is already built into the class: Brief Daily Sessions. I want to unyoke myself from the waiting/binging cycle and make writing more a part of my daily life. Second, I want to make writing a more social act (something Boice points to as a way to shed light on some of these problems writers have). The image on page 5 of Proust naked in his chamber, feverishly scribbling away was one that I could (sadly) relate to. The woman quoted on page 4 who forsook her entire social life to binge on writing her novel is also one that I could relate to, along with the subsequent feelings of despair at forgetting how to be a person. Practicing these two things will hopefully bring me closer to being the type of writer I want to be. I am truly a social person, and I take time out of my day (everyday) to be social with different people. Combining that with a regular, unhurried, moderately emotional writing experience, I think I will be able to move further towards a productive writing practice which I can sustain over my career.

******** Author's Note *******

I am usually listening to music as I write. I will usually include what I'm listening to in my posts. Today I went back in time for some easy-listening singer-songwriter stuff. If you haven't before, I would highly recommend listening to Jack Johnson for concentrating, for dozing off, or for putting yourself in a good mood. Enjoy!

Introductions are in order.....

Hello to those of you who have found your way to this blog.

My name is Maxwell Philbrook and I'd like to welcome you to my blog. I'm a PhD student in Rhetoric and Composition in the English Department here at Mizzou. I study the movement of texts in an increasingly global world, and I am especially interested in how arguments about food circulate transnationally. I received a MA from the University of Minnesota Duluth and I'm glad to be here.

I'm originally from Minneapolis area Minnesota, home of the Minnesota Twins, Atmosphere, and mosquitoes so big you need a tennis racket to smash them. Minnesota is a wonderful place to live, but Columbia is a close second.

My plan for this space is to chronicle my writing during a four-week summer session course as I begin to incorporate mindful practices into my writing process. I am currently in the process of working on my comprehensive examinations. In the English Department, we have a comps process where we write an essay over our comps year, instead of locking ourselves in a room examination-style. I'll be doing some work for that on this blog, but I'll also be reflecting on my mindfulness practices that I incorporate into my comps process.

For now, you can get to know me better around the web:
https://www.facebook.com/maxwell.philbrook
https://twitter.com/philby311
http://english.missouri.edu/gradstudents/514-maxwell-philbrook.html

You'll definitely see me commenting on your posts, so please feel free to do the same. It'd be great to hear from you!

What is this mindfulness you speak of?

I'm glad you asked. According to 'some', mindfulness implies the practitioner is paying attention, on purpose, in a particular way, without judgment. And from what I understand, mindfulness can be applied to almost any activity. Writing is just one way. In class we talked about mindful swimming, mindful cat petting, mindful reading. The only requirement is that you undertake the activity with those traits in mind.

Mindfulness also has a temporal element to it. Being mindful asks you to be firmly in the present. So often my brain is pulling me into the past (which I cannot control) or pushing me into the future (which I also can't really control). One thing I really focused on during our meditation in class was keeping mind in the present by focusing on an anchor point that kept me in the here and now. For a while I was concentrating on my feet pressing against the floor. I focused on my spine for a little while. Then I listened to my heart. Anything that gave me a connection to the present.

I was also thinking about Ron Swanson when he went to meditation with Chris. I couldn't find the clip, but here's a pic that gives the idea.

If you'd like to say little bit about your meditation today in class, please do so in the comments. I'd be interested to hear how it went for you.